Me and My Mom: Just a Couple of Fanilows

Being a dad has taught me a lot about being a son. It’s shown me the importance of having a relationship with my mom like the kind I want my kids to have with me when they’re grown up.

Doing things like making time for a cup of coffee. Not letting too much time pass without calling her to catch up.

And by all means, taking her to see Barry Manilow when he comes through town.

The backstory: Barry has always been my mom’s favorite. His albums were in constant rotation when I was tiny. By the time I was 10, she’d dragged me to three shows.

Except by dragged, I mean super pumped to go — there’s a 98% chance I’m remembering this incorrectly, but I recall killer light shows. And who doesn’t love “Copacabana?” (Tony, that’s who. Things do not go his way.)

So how was Barry’s show, nigh 30 years later? A lot of fun. Billed as “One Last Time,” this tour is kind of a victory lap for the Nose That Made It (as my dad called him), and he played all this hits. Unfortunately, he also played some of the new stuff, but never mind that.

During “Can’t Smile Without You,” my mom leaned over and gave me a hug and said that was four-year-old Robert’s favorite song. It was a nice moment. I may be a dad now, but I’ll still always be her kid.

For the record, 2015 Robert’s top three Manilow jams are:

• “Could It Be Magic”
• “Mandy”
• “Ready to Take a Chance Again”

We had a great time, and it was thoroughly awesome to do something special with my mom. Call it cheeseball, but it’s totally true.

Madeline and James, I look forward to you taking me to the LCD Soundsystem reunion tour 2047. We’ll have some future beers, teleport home and it’ll be the best.

First Grade Happened (And Other Stories)

So more than a year has gone by since my last Dad Blog post, and man, does time fly — except during a first grade girls softball game. Those are 75 minutes long and what with the heat seem to last forever.

The good news is that first grade went pretty well for Madeline. In addition to, of course, learning things, a few of the highlights were:

I Know Why the
Caged Bunnicula Sings

• Getting cast as Bunnicula in the first grade play, which explains why one of her spelling words was “vampire”
• Singing “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” with her friends at the year-end talent show
• Winning PTO Trivia Night (okay, that was actually me, Kelly and some parent friends of ours, but I feel this victory can't go left unmentioned)

Like so many households across America, it’s all Frozen all the time at our place. The number one way to shut it down is to jump in and sing along, as the last thing Madeline wants to do is duet with her dad. (I learned this trick from an incident with my mom and “Personal Jesus.” Eventually, we all become our parents.)

The number two way is to find “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” on the radio. That is her jam right now.

Meanwhile, James still digs My Little Pony, but he’s really into Thomas the Tank Engine. I looked Thomas up on the Internet so I could talk trains with the boy, and three hours later realized I’d fallen into a massive Wikihole. There is an insane level of detail to the Island of Sodor — it’s like a My First Tolkien.

I was also amazed to learn that Thomas & Friends is on its 17th season. A recent episode was titled “The Smelly Kipper.” At some point you’re bound to run out of plots.

Our family watched Star Wars together for the first time on Father’s Day. James wouldn’t watch it without his Star Wars ABC book. Star Wars plus the alphabet — it’s educational in two ways!

The first thing I did when James got the book was make sure J isn’t for Jar Jar, but thankfully there was no Gungan in sight. As a nerd dad, this is no less than my most important responsibility.

And now summer is almost over — next month James will move up a room at daycare and Madeline will start second grade.

Where does the time go? We haven’t even watched The Empire Strikes Back yet!

How’s your summer going? Do anything cool? In denial that school will be starting up again soon? Or are you counting down the days?

Madeline and Brandy and Shaft and James (Or, “At Least One of My Kids Can Tolerate My Singing”)

My second favorite song of all time is “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass. A #1 hit from 1972, it’s the story of a tavern girl in love with a sailorman who can’t fathom a life on dry land.



When Madeline was a baby, I used to sing it to her as a lullaby. She’d ask for it by calling it “Brandy’s Eyes,” because the barflies tell Brandy that your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea.

The song did require a couple of minor tweaks, though.

1. A change to the lyric, they say, “Brandy, fetch another round”/she serves them whiskey and wine. In my version, Brandy serves lemonade, due to a vision I had of Madeline going around singing about booze. Which would’ve been adorable, but well, you know.
2. When Brandy’s fella tells his sailor stories, it gets intense — she could feel the ocean fall and rise/she saw its raging glory. The first time I sang this part to Madeline I got way too into it, waking her up and thus defeating the point of a lullaby. So I’ve had to dial it down some.

I haven’t really found a song for James and me that’s ours like “Brandy” was for me and the girl. Sometimes I’ll sing “Mr. James” to the tune of Counting Crows’ “Mr. Jones.” Or I’ll change the words to “Theme From Shaft” to be about him.

Who is the baby that is his dad’s favorite baby? James! He’s a complicated baby, and no one understands him like his bumblebee.

At bedtime for James, Kelly sings him a medley of “Goodnite, Sweetheart,” “You Are My Sunshine” and “Rockabye Baby.” But when she was gone the other night and I started into “Goodnite, Sweetheart,” James was having none of it.

“No sing. Mommy do,” he said.

That same night, Madeline asked if instead of a bedtime story, I could sing her “Brandy.”

YES. And extra hugs, too.

She is entirely too clever for her own good.

Do you remember having any special songs with your mom or dad? What are some of the songs you like to sing to or with your kids?

Five Years Old and Punk as F***

Just like her dad, Madeline loves music. When we went to go see the Doo Dads at Park Place over the summer, she wanted to be right up front, close to the band. It’s never too early to start developing the key rock show skill of fighting your way to the front of the crowd.

We listen to a lot of 1st Wave on Sirius in my car. Classic alternative and new wave is to me, Madeline and James, as listening to Motown on the radio was to me and my mom.

Madeline asks some pretty good questions about the songs on 1st Wave when we’re driving ‘round (up and down, through the streets of your town). Here are a few of my favorites.

The Ramones: "Rock 'n' Roll High School"
"Daddy, am I going to go to a rock and roll high school?"

The Cure: "Boys Don't Cry"
"Does that mean they think only girls cry? Because boys do cry. I've seen them."

Siouxsie and the Banshees: "Christine"
For this song, Madeline wanted to know why Siouxsie Sioux calls Christine “the strawberry girl” in the chorus* — but my co-worker Leisha had a much better question.

I was proudly telling Leisha how Madeline was expressing interest in what I'd consider some fairly advanced post-punk for a kindergartner. Leisha then asked me, “So at what point did you decide to raise Madeline to be a tiny goth?”

    Think this...                                             ...plus this.
 
Cool, yes. But I can't imagine the look would fly at Catholic school.
 
*I didn’t know why Christine is “the strawberry girl,” so I looked it up. “Christine” is based on Chris Costner Sizemore, who had dissociative identity disorder, and “the strawberry girl” was one of her identities. If Madeline’s question comes up again, I’m going to stick with, “I guess she’s just super excited about eating healthy foods."