Madeline
starting second grade is a big deal. But an even bigger deal is that for the
first day, I, a dad, did her hair all by myself — and it looked pretty good. Or
at the very least, not terrible. Certainly not bad enough that people were
pointing at her and saying, “Geez, a dad must’ve done that.” And that’s
something.
It’s not
that the off-center top ponytail is a complicated style. There'd just never
been much reason for me to learn how, which had grown into some kind of
tress-related block. But Kelly was about to be out of town on a school day for
the first time.
Back in the
daycare era when Kelly travelled, I’d take a fistful of rubber bands with me
and look traumatized until I could corner a teacher. “Please help hair ponytail
me can’t do thank you, ack.”
However, it
seemed a little gauche to walk into Madeline’s classroom and ask her brand new
teacher if she could help a dad out. Nor could I simply throw in a barrette because there’s about a five-minute ceiling on Madeline’s ability to keep those
in her hair.
The time had
finally come for me to go ahead and master the ponytail already.
So Madeline,
Kelly and I had a Saturday morning ponytail seminar, during which I took
rigorous notes. “Wetting comb helps tame wispies.” “Hair goes through rubber
band 3x.”
Kelly said
she’d never seen me in such deep concentration. Then she took Madeline to buy
some uniform-legal bows. “They’re your secret weapon,” Kelly said. “And they’re
very forgiving.”
My first
practice drill showed promise. Then at Madeline’s insistence, she had me do her
hair every morning thereafter, smartly realizing she didn’t want my second go
to be when it was for real.
On the first
day of school, just to be on the safe side, I got her up 30 minutes early to
account for multiple ponytail attempts and the slight possibility that I’d fail
with every rubber band in the house and have to run out for reinforcements.
I am proud
to say that with only a single re-do necessary, I executed a successful
ponytail/bow combo. When Madeline joined me at the office after school, independent
confirmation of my triumph was provided by some of my lady co-workers. They
also told me they were disappointed I hadn’t taken their advice and tried to do
this.
Of course, the
day Kelly got back, Madeline asked her for an elaborate style involving multiple
braids and flair and whatnot. Showoff.
But it’s a
relief to know that in a pinch, dad is here with mad ponytail skills.
Okay,
acceptable ponytail skills.
Quick — somebody
hand me a bow.
